TV Troubles

Every now and then I will be trying to sleep but my roommate has the TV on so loud that I just cannot do it. Eventually I ask her to turn down the volume, which she does, but not enough. Then ten minutes go by and I have to ask her to turn it down AGAIN. After much thought and consideration, I have come up with a simple solution to this problem; a universal remote. Depending on what your situation is and what kind of roommate you have, you may be able to talk it out. This means having a sit-down type of thing where you say "this really bothers me, can you try to not do this, I would really appreciate this, etc." However, if a month goes by and your roomie has made no obvious attempts to change his or her behavior, then I would suggest jumping to plan B, buying a universal remote. Now this can be very tricky, because if your roommate finds out that you have a second "master" remote, they will most likely be very offended and upset. As a rule, the smaller the universal remote that you get is, the better it is, because it is less noticeable and easier to hide. Some excuses you could use if your roommate finds your remote is to say that it is for your alarm clock, or any other appliances in the room (just so you know though, this will probably not work. You could also get really angry and completely freak out on your roomie, and start accusing them of going through your stuff and stealing things from your dirty laundry. You could also say that the remote has sentimental value.

The number one way to avoid confrontation over having a universal remote is to not get caught with it. One way to accomplish this is to never raise your roommate's suspicions in the first place. This means that you do not change the channels and tell your roomie that the TV is haunted. This approach really only works if the TV is old as dirt, or your roommate is really stupid. The only time that you should really use the remote is to lower the volume. Now before you start to just lower and raise the volume whenever you get the urge, there are some things you need to notice about your TV. The most important thing to notice is whether or not the volume bar pops up on the screen when you adjust the volume. If it does not pop up, then go crazy and raise or lower that bad boy all you want. If the volume bar does pop up, then you have to be a little sneakier. In my opinion, the best way to deal with this little speed bump is to ask your roommate to lower the volume and when the bar is on screen, just keep it going down. Your roommate will think that the remote is just sensitive. Another method is misdirection, for example you could look out the window and start screaming "OH MY GOD, THAT MAN HAS A GUN!!!" However, I wouldn't scream that too loud, and after your roomie has been frantically looking out the window I might say something like "no, no, what i said was 'Oh my god that man has a pack of gum', not a gun."

Of course there is another problem that springs to mind when talking about sharing a TV. That is a roomie who does not share well with others. If the object they are having problems sharing is the TV, then the universal remote comes in handy here, too. This course of action is not highly effective, but it is fun. What you can do is hide the remote for the TV in your roommates stuff, and when your roomie is not in the room, you could then use the universal remote. The reason why it is necessary to hide it in your roomies stuff is that then, even if they accuse you of hiding it, they will eventually find it in their stuff thus looking like an a-hole. The problem with this plan is that your roomie could always just get up and change the channel by hand. However, you can always use the remote when your roomie is in the room, but not looking at what you are doing. All you have to do is change one channel and then tell your roomie that they are probably sitting on the remote. Then you get to watch them frantically search for the remote for a few minutes.

Even though this has a potential to be a good plan, you should always, always, always try to talk it out first. This can save a lot of time spent in retaliation and escalation. You don't want to wake up one morning without an eyebrow wishing that you had talked about the TV thing.